zero Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 Okay there is this totally smug nelly that lives in Guelph named Vish Khanna. He writes for the Echo and is a not bad writer, he's in a few bands and they are bad (with names like hairy nipple or something). Basically if I tried to get a band together we'd be that bad. It would be hard to explain but this guy is the most smug, incompetent (he works on the jazz festival), elitist, did I mention smug, prick you've ever met. I really want to smash this guys teeth down his throat (is that a threat like legally if I just wrote it cause I just said that I want to smash him anyways). I have never been so offended and pissed at a person in my life seemingly. So I want to make his life miserable somehow in a smart way. I mean I could sh!t on his doorstep or something or send a bunch of black booty whores to his door when his bitch girlfriend is there. I just haven't figured out a good one yet. So if you had to wage a campaign of torture against an indy rock twit in a town like Guelph what would you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 Start a much better band than he's in, arrange to open up for his band (you might have to "sandbag" yourself, and appear worse than you are, or more appropriate to his band's style/quality of music, to get the gig), and blow his band off the stage. Make sure there's indie-band press in attendance, too. Aloha, Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paisley Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 simply be more visible, composed, intelligent, approachable, open minded, progressive and productiveand publicly feel overtly sorry and sympathic for the guy's immature social behaviours and the rigid boxes his limited intellect forces him to reside within... sorry and sympathetic every chance you get to everyone who caresany time it gets back to him it'll make him go nuts, and worse yet he'll look a total ass if he slanders the one who feels so deeply for him(Ayn Rand - 101)aside from that, always remember revenge is a dish best served cold (unless it actually is smashing someone in the teeth) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guigsy Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 everyday when he gets up to go to work, be there, outside on the sidewalk, waiting for him.. follow him and gently toss leaves of lettuce in his direction, never hitting him, well, maybe occassionally, but not intentionally , but just get 'em in his general area, cause a stir in his personal space. it may take months, but i think he'll be headed for Hotel California sooner or later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaggyBalls Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 no dude...follow him around with your fan and boa. or find some tramp with crabs and have her seduce him...that's much more entertaining...and guigsy...cool idea except spinach is more fun and easier to throw. trust me. to quote popeye, 'AG Ag aG Ag ag ag ug' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zero Posted September 14, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 Please keep them coming all of these are highly satisfying and helping me greatly with my superhuman hate on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 gerbil. condom. ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-towns Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 whats the condom for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paisley Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 oh, c'mon man who knows where this guy's been poor gerbil deserves at least that much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-towns Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 This thread is so "Low Brow". :: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau Posted September 14, 2004 Report Share Posted September 14, 2004 So if you had to wage a campaign of torture against an indy rock twit in a town like Guelph what would you do? Just knock his fu©kin teeth out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zero Posted September 15, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 I definitely am leaning more (surprisingly) towards Paisley's kill them with softness routine. Actually I didn't have a choice the quickening went farther then I expected and I suddenly have a great deal of compassion for other's differences. Whowouldathunkit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouche Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 Invite him to a strip joint, start up a tab. Get loaded. Say you're going to the bathroom and then disappear. I just came up with that on the fly. I could do better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paisley Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 so long as you don't go as far as Ayn Rand - 102 controlling and subdue-ing the masses through elaborate praise of mediocre literature, music and arts which are picked with meticulous care for their lack of subversive or imaginative qualities (ah, Corporate America beat you to it anyways) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zero Posted September 15, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 I seriously thought Lord Buddha gave me the sandblaster to the heart but after Friendly crossed me an another thread and after plotting this guys demise I am feeling the kung like vibe flowing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaggyBalls Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 is he back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zero Posted September 15, 2004 Author Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 It's kind of a yin yang thing, now the kung is the black dot contained in the white sphere and not vice versa. He's lurking down there deep and could arise in a moments provocation with the dark dark Qi bombs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CyberHippie Posted September 15, 2004 Report Share Posted September 15, 2004 exlax brownies? I know it's cliche, but nothing wrong with the classics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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