StoneMtn Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 I was just talking to someone in my office about a woman we recently "let go". I was just reminded of one of the moronic things she did. This woman gave the senior solicitor in our office the ultimate in boneheaded phone messegaes from a client; so boneheaded I just had to share: "A man called and said it was important." (No name. No phone number. Nothing.) Have you ever seen a corporate lawyer, literally, pull out his own hair? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
can-o-phish Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 So I would have to ask being a business owner, who hired this woman? Must've been a great screening process... Cheers Can'O'Phish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SevenSeasJim Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Have you ever seen a corporate lawyer, literally, pull out his own hair? Now are we talking about a good corporate lawyer or an evil corporate lawyer??? (it makes a difference you know ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchoulia Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Ah, I love threads devoted to workplace insanity, inanity and stupidity. I got a million of 'em..but first, I'll share one of my all-time favourites..a resignation letter we received last year: Dear [GM Name], Over the past year or so, I have learned real qualities of having a job. I thank you for that! I have learned how not to be shy, how to deal with work and I learned the value of a dollar. But there was something bothering me that I just couldn't let go--you. You have made my working experience a living nightmare. Day after day, you're on my case. I honestly can't tell you why, but all I know is that's not the reason I'm quitting. I'm quitting because this place sucks the balls. I'd rather be working at McDonald's no offence. Anyway I coulnd't handle all the bullsh!t I put up with. So I'm handing in my 2 weeks notice have a nice life. I'm sick of the bullsh!t..I even had a cupola managers call me at home repeetedly.Kissing ass is not the way to get promoted--it's the pussy way out. Sincerely, [employee name] I'm still getting enjoyment out of that letter a year later...I'm sure our HR department would frown on such a thing.. "Sucks the balls" is a very useful phrase and, for some reason, the hilarity factor is increased exponentially simply with the addition of "the" preposition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchoulia Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Here's another one...I had a work nemesis (who eventually did get canned, after making my work life unbearable for about year) who was, quite possibly, one of the dumbest guys ever. He had serious attendance and punctuality problems (not to mention that, in addition to being not that bright, his personality was entirely charm-free). He emailed in sick every day for a week. First surmising that he had somehow contracted food poisoning. Then he explained that their brand new fridge had broken, all the food and gone bad and he had continued eating it and that's how he got sick. The sad thing is, I can almost believe that he *would* eat an entire fridge full of spoiled food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneMtn Posted February 7, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Can I presume that the employee from your first post (Stoned Phillips) was not given a particularly strong letter of reference? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchoulia Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Can I presume that the employee from your first post (Stoned Phillips) was not given a particularly strong letter of reference? That's a 10-4, good buddy. I liked how they apparently tried to avoid burning any bridges with the "have a nice life" and "Sincerely" parts. Oh, and, they also made about 50 copies of their letter of resignation and handed it out to all the other employees at that particular theatre--nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Yowsa. I had to let someone go last week. The reasons were too numerous to mention but I did love him accidentally dialing my boss on his cell phone (Key lock people, it's your friend), he talked for over 15 minutes to someone about how much he hates his job, calling us all names and stuff. Not a smart move when you're on probation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 not a work-related story but I'll never forget inviting a particulalrly dim bulb to a New Year's Party I held at my parents' place back in Grade 11: "Hey, will you come to my New Year's Eve Party?" "Love to! When is it?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Freak Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 hey marco, is your quote from arrested development? Great stories guys. Maybe I will be able to actually get a job after I graduate, since I now know that employers are wanting "competent" help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 SF - oh yeah, from Arrested Development. I just love that show! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bokonon Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 in highschool i worked at tim horton's where i had to show a new girl how to work the mop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 A few months ago, fed up with "Gail" always talking to her husband during business hours, my boss printed a phone usage report and confronted her. She realized from the reports that she was on the phone with her husband for an average of 8 hours a week. So basically she was only working 4 days a week, while the rest of us work our asses off. Ever since then she talks to her husband on her personal cell phone instead. Sheesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 He must be one hell of a husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Pretty needy I'd say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 A few months ago, fed up with "Gail" always talking to her husband during business hours, my boss printed a phone usage report and confronted her. She realized from the reports that she was on the phone with her husband for an average of 8 hours a week. So basically she was only working 4 days a week, while the rest of us work our asses off. Ever since then she talks to her husband on her personal cell phone instead. Sheesh. If you're feeling particularly evil, find out who employs her husband, and let them know how much time he's spending on the phone with his wife... Aloha, Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Well I know he works for the RCMP, but evil I am not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyRage Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Ummm..speaking of spending hours at work doing something else.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 hee hee hee.... oh!whooops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Ba dum bum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CyberHippie Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Well, I won't even start on my current job... Hell they are probably monitoring this as I type... So back in the day I tried to do a summer of student painting. One guy who worked with us was nice enough, but dumb as a box of rocks. At one house in particular we divied up the work, and he was going to paint the windows at the front. We left him to work. He came back around in no time and said he was finished. Well he was finished, but... There was paint all over the bushes and hedges, all over the front porch, and all over the glass. Yeesh... Then he spills a bucket of paint on their brand new asphalt driveway... So what does he do? Well he pours a ton of paint remover onto the drive to try and clean it up. Well one problem... Varsole actually eats away at the asphalt. So now in addition to all the painting mess we now have a big hole in the driveway to content with... Needless to say, he didn't have to come to work anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaimoe Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 As a co-worker of mine was phoning-in sick, the area code on our work phone's display was from New York City. Also, a friend/co-worker of mine got pregnant months after giving birth to her first child. The main reason? She said she wanted to take another year off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazlo Posted February 7, 2005 Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 Also, a friend/co-worker of mine got pregnant months after giving birth to her first child. The main reason? She said she wanted to take another year off. That's a great scam. Now how can I get myself pregnant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneMtn Posted February 7, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2005 To my knowledge, at least in BC, a father can take maternity leave instead of the mother. Now, Lazlo, the more practical problem for you is that you need only find a woman who'll let you get close enough... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guigsy Posted February 8, 2005 Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 ... i cant even imagine. and thank god for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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