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Pupils are being rewarded for writing obscenities in their GCSE English examinations even when it has nothing to do with the question. One pupil who wrote "f*** off" was given marks for accurate spelling and conveying a meaning successfully. His paper was marked by Peter Buckroyd, a chief examiner who has instructed fellow examiners to mark in the same way. He told trainee examiners recently to adhere strictly to the mark scheme, to the extent that pupils who wrote only expletives on their papers should be awarded points..."It would be wicked to give it zero, because it does show some very basic skills we are looking for - like conveying some meaning and some spelling. It's better than someone that doesn't write anything at all. It shows more skills than somebody who leaves the page blank" - The Times.

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Paddy goes to the zoo to see his mate who works there. His mate says to him "Paddy, we have a real problem. The female Gorilla is on heat, there is no male gorilla and she will smash this place up if she doesn't have sex. Paddy will you have sex with the Gorilla for £500?"

Paddy says he'd have to think about it and goes off to look around the zoo. At the end of the day Paddy comes back to talk to his mate. "Okay I'll do it, but on three conditions. 1 - No kissing, I' am not kissing a gorilla. 2 - My family never find out. And 3 - Give me a few weeks to get the £500 together...

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