ollie Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 Things overheard in Ollie's cubical !The sound of pink noise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 Paul McCartney was being interviewed the other day about his break up.when asked if he would ever go down on one knee againhe replied"i prefer if you called her Heather" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 Is Marx's tomb a communist plot? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 A teacher asks her class to use the word contagious. Ronnie gets up and says, 'Last year I got the measles and my Mum said it was contagious.''Well done Ronnie,' says the teacher. 'Can anyone else try?'Katie raises her hand and says, 'My Gran says there's a bug going round and it's contagious.''Well done, Katie,' says the teacher. 'Anyone else?'Little Johnny jumps up and says, 'Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 4 cm brush and my Dad says it will take the contagious.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 The ghost of Stalin appears to Putin in a dream and advises him to shoot all his inefficient officials and paint the walls blue. 'Why blue?' Putin asks. Stalin laughs and replies: 'I knew you'd only ask about the second part.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 Corduroy pillows - they're making headlines! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouche Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world"."Why is that?" said the other tramp."Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a £20. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days."The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days.""Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?""Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-towns Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 straight from a mexicans mouth at work today....What do you call two mexicans on a firetruck?Jose and Josb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 A blonde is walking up the street, looking for work to earn a little money. She knocks on a door. A guy answers."Mister - you got any work for me?"Sure - you can paint the porch."And he gives her a can of white paint.Half an hour later, the blonde knocks at the door again, and the guy opens it."Hey mister, I've finished the job.And by the way, it's not a porch - it's a Ferrari." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phorbesie Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. bwah!! davey yours are funny too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 Sara Jessica Parker walks into a bar and the bartender says, "hey Jess, what's with the long face?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 For years, I thought my Dad suffered from Tourette's.Turns out, he just thought I was a f**king c**t. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 dropdown menu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 Some eggs, bacon and toast walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve breakfast" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 (edited) One day George Bush Sr. sits down with George Jr to have a little talk about his presidency. "Well son", Sr. says, "I like what you've done so far but i'd also like to see a little more ingenuity, show a little initiative." Jr. nods his heads sagely and returns to the oval office to think about it. The next day, Sr. walks into the oval office to see Jr. talking to a group of Iranians "...and then I want you to smash those cars into the sears tower in a firey explosion" Perplexed, Sr asks Jr. what he is up to, "Son do you really think that getting a bunch of Iranians to drive cars into the Sears tower is enough to get the American people to support a war with Iran?" "No, but I was hoping it would get me a third term." (I'll stop now) Edited July 10, 2008 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 A guy says, "I'm so old that I forgot how old I am." An old woman says, "I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over." The man does this. The woman says, "You're seventy four." The man says, "How can you tell?" The woman says, "You told me yesterday." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
questcequecest? Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 a buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "make me one with everything." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AD Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 Three statisticians go hunting. They spot a deer. The first guy shoots wide left. The second guy shoots wide right. The third guy exclaims “I got him!†Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 a drunk comes stumbling out of a bar. Broke, he sees a group of priests and shouts to them, "I'll bet you $50 that I am the Lord your Saviour"aghast and offended, the priests confer for a moment then turn to him and say "Very well we'll be happy to take your $50 and put it in the church's coffers."They shake on it and the drunk leads them back into the bar. As they enter the bartender turns to them"Jesus Christ, you're back!?!?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyak Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 a horse walks into a bar.the bartender asks him: "why the long face?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyak Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 how is american beer like haveing sex in a canoe?its F***ing close to water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 A man visits his doctor for a health check. "I'm afraid that I am going to have to ask you to stop masturbating', says the doctor."Oh no, why is that?' asks the worried patient."Well, I am trying to examine you" replies the Dr, "And it is really putting me off". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorgnor Posted July 10, 2008 Report Share Posted July 10, 2008 hide toolbar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now