Patchoulia

Yeah, I always hated that damn "Into the Mystic" song and, well, anything Van Morrison, really, until I heard the Warrenized version.

We work with them. My contact at work is contacting them and he's going to let me know.

I'm getting the inside scoop from LiveNation...re: Panic in TO...will keep you posted!

Thank you for that, Mr. Dinghy. Sooo many of my friends and I have been laughing hysterically at that note for almost 24 hours.

I am friends with one of the guys in that band..keyboard player..really nice guy and very talented. I know a ton of folks who will be at that show, too, if you need anyone to hang with pre- or post-.

I would kill for "Salty Ham" sketch...Fran & Gordon were always my favourite characters. ------------------------ [setting: Scott and Bruce are in a bedroom in the middle of the night. Bruce is up drinking out of a pitcher. Scott rolls over after hearing Bruce burp and turns on the light.] Scott: Gordon, what are you doing up, hon? It's after two o' clock in the morning. Bruce: It's that salty bloody ham! Scott: The ham we had at dinner? Bruce: Yes! Was there another ham? Scott: You didn't like it... Bruce: No, I didn't like the ham, dear; it was a little bit salty, thanks. Scott: Well, you certainly wolfed enough of it down. Bruce: I didn't wolf it down. A man works all day, he expects a normal ham meal, not Goddamn bastard brine! Scott: I don't know what could have gone wrong... Bruce: Well *something* did! Scott: I didn't do anything different... I went down to Deatrix and picked myself up a choice 6 pound Virginia ham. Bruce: Did you drop it in *salt* on the way home, perhaps? Scott: No, I basted it with a mustard glaze, then I put maraschino cherry and pineapple spears in it and popped it in a 350 degree oven for....2 hours. Bruce: A man my age shouldn't be up *all* night looking for Gatorade streams in the backyard! Scott: Let's be fair to the ham, dear. Ham is a salty food. It's not like porridge, or toast, or a pear. Bruce: I know that *ham* isn't porridge, or toast, or a pear. Jesus Christ! What do I expect from you? You come from a long line of horrible cooks. Your old lady's a horrible cook! [scott looks shocked.] Bruce: Oh, admit it! Everything with her is so bland, I could puke! She would boil a Pop-Tart, where as you--you would salt fish from the Dead Sea! Scott: Oh, go on. [bruce goes and looks in the mirror. He pulls his pajamas back a little and indicates his left side.] Bruce: You know what's gonna happen to me? I'm gonna get a big pussy boil right on my neck! Is that what you want in bed with you? A big pus boil shooting salt over your good bed linens. Scott: Yeah! [bruce goes back over to the bed.] Bruce: Christ! I work hard all day, I expect a normal ham meal, not, not--Voodoo pork! [bruce sits down.] Bruce: You know what this reminds me of, don't you? Scott: I hate to guess. Bruce: The mushroom pork incident. Scott: Oh! When will you ever let me live that one down? Bruce: Who but you would screw up something as simple as a pork chop? Smother it in mushroom sauce. Every-- Scott: It was gravy! Bruce: It was horrid! Scott: And besides that was a long time ago. [Dreamy] That was when we lived in the blue house, remember? Bruce: I see a pattern developing. [Gets up] I'm banishing pork! Scott: What? Bruce: I've made a decision to banish park. It's not coming in through that *door*; it's not coming in through that *window*; your rock star son isn't bringing it home in his fag hair. Scott: You watch your-- Bruce: As of today, we are a pork-free household. *I* have spoken! [bruce gets in bed.] Scott: Well, I guess there's no point in me making you ham sandwiches for your lunch tomorrow. Bruce: No honey, no point whatsoever. Scott: Fine, you'll jsut have to eat in the cafeteria then. See how you like that, it's *ham* Tuesday. Bruce: Great! Scott: Well you seem to know so much about cooking, Gordon, why don't you *do* all the cooking around here? Bruce: Why don't you shut up around here? Scott: No, no, no, no, no. We'll knock a hole in the ceiling, drag the BBQ in, tattoo an apron to your chest, you can cook to your heart's content. Bruce: Shut up! Scott: It just gets my goat! You wake me up in the middle of a lovely dream about Berry Gordy taking me to the Grammys-- Bruce: Shut up! Scott: --to harangue me about some stupid ham. Bruce: I think it was a little salty. Scott: I don't think it's fair, Gordon. I do everything in my power to be a good wife to you. I fold sheets and pillow cases, I shoo the kids out of that precious garden of yours. Bruce: Shut up! Scott: I do everything in my power short of greeting you at the door in Saran wrap. Bruce: Oh shut up about that stuff! Scott: And for what? For *nothing*! For once in our marriage I would just like to have the last-- Bruce: SHUT UP! Scott: --word! [scott rolls over and lies down. Bruce just sits there for a few seconds, staring into space.] Bruce: I am tired; I am salty; I require *silence*. [bruce sighs and then looks at Scott. He pats Scott's waist.] Bruce: Ahh, you old soldier. [bruce starts to rub Scott's arm. Scott takes his hand.] Bruce: Uh, listen, mother...is there any more of that nice dessert left? Scott: [so quietly you can barely hear it.] Jello 1 2 3? Bruce: What's that? Scott: The Jello 1 2 3? Bruce: Yeah, I think I'm gonna go get myself a little bit of that. [bruce gets up and puts his robe on.] Scott: Well there's a little bit left in the fridge, but be on your guard, it's beside the ham. Might have been some salt transfer. [bruce burps and walks out.] [scott picks up the telephone and calls someone.] Scott: Hello Barbara? It's Fran calling. Sorry to wake you so late, dear, but I was just wondering if you knew how to cook a whole pig. You tried what? Swedish meatballs tartare? How'd it go over with the family, dear? I see. Well if you need a place to stay...

Some good tips here, from musicians... HOW TO REQUEST A SONG FROM THE BAND When requesting a song from the band, just say "play .. my song!" We have chips implanted in our heads with an unlimited database of the favorite tunes of every patron who ever walked into a bar and all songs ever recorded so feel free to be vague, we love the challenge. If we say we really don't remember that tune you want, we're only kidding. Bands do know every song ever recorded, so keep humming. Hum harder if need be... it helps jog the memory, or just repeat your request over and over again. If a band tells you they do not know a song you want to hear, they either forgot they know the tune or they are just putting you on. Try singing a few words for the band. Any words will do. It also helps to scream your request from across the room several times per set followed by the phrases, "AW, COME ON!" and, "YOU SUCK!" Exaggerated hand gestures expressing disapproval from the dance floor are a big help as well, such as the thumbs down or your middle finger up put-downs are the best way to jog a band's memory. This instantly promotes you to the status of "Personal Friend Of The Band." You can bet your request will be the next song we play. Entertainers are notorious fakers and jokesters and never really prepare for their shows.They simply walk on stage with no prior thought to what they will do once they arrive. We don't actually make set lists or rehearse songs. We mostly just wait for you to yell something out, then fake it. An entertainer's job is so easy, even a monkey could do it, so don't let them off the hook easily. Your request is all that matters. Once you've figured out what genre of music the band plays, please make your requests from a totally different genre. The more exaggerated the better. If its a blues band playing, yell for some Metallica or Slayer or Pantera. Likewise, if its a death-speed metal band, be sure to request Brown-Eyed Girl or some Grateful Dead. Musicians need to constantly broaden their musical horizons, and its your job to see that it happens....immediately. TALKING WITH THE BAND The best time to discuss anything with the band in any meaningful way is at the middle of a song when all band members are singing at the same time. Our hearing is so advanced that we can pick out your tiny voice from the megawatt wall of sound blasting all around us. And we can converse with you in sign language while singing the song, so don't worry that we're in the middle of the chorus. Musicians are expert lip readers too. If a musician does not reply to your question or comment during a tune, it's because they didn't get a good look at your mouth in order to read your lips. Simply continue to scream your request and be sure to over emphasize the words with your lips. This helps immensely. Don't be fooled. Singers have the innate ability to answer questions and sing at the same time. If the singer doesn't answer your questions immediately, regardless of how stupid the question may seem, it's because they are purposely ignoring you. If this happens, immediately cop an attitude. We love this. IMPORTANT TIP When an entertainer leans over to hear you better, grab his or her head in both hands and yell directly into their ear, while holding their head securely so they cannot pull way.This will be taken as an invitation to a friendly and playful game of tug of war between their head and your hands. Don't give up! Hang on until the singer or guitar player submits. Drummers are often safe from this fun game since they usually sit in the back, protected by the guitar players. Keyboard players are protected by their instrument, and only play the game when tricked into coming from behind their keyboards. Though difficult to get them to play, it's not impossible, so keep trying. They're especially vulnerable during the break between songs. HELPING THE BAND If you inform the band that you are a singer, the band will appreciate your help with the next few tunes, or however long you can remain standing on stage. If you're too drunk to stand unassisted, simply lean on one of the band members or the most expensive piece of equipment you see. Just pretend you're in a Karaoke bar. Simply feel free to walk up on stage and join in.By the way, the drunker you are, the better you sound, and the louder you should sing. If by chance you fall off the stage, be sure to crawl back up and attempt to sing harmony. Keep in mind that nothing assists the band more than outrageous dancing, fifth and sixth part harmonies, or a tambourine played on one and three and out of tempo. Try the cowbell; they love the challenge.The band always needs the help and will take this as a compliment. Finally, the microphone and PA system are merely props, they don't really amplify your voice, so when you grab the mic out of the singers hand be sure to scream into it at the top of your lungs, otherwise no one will hear what a great singer you are. Hearing is over-rated anyhow. The crowd and the sound guy will love you for it. BONUS TIP As a last resort, wait until the band takes a break and then get on stage and start playing their instruments. They love this. Even if you are ejected from the club, you can rest assured in the fact you have successfully completed your audition. The band will call you the following day to offer you a position.

oh my god!!!! this is my little cousin - no joke! he rocks. :D hahahahahha! awesome. What??!! Really?? That's awesome! Some of my work friends are dubious...LOL..

This might be the best sweater I've ever seen. And I also think this kid might be Andrea Bargnani's younger twin brother.

OK, several of these had me laughing out loud... http://www.photobasement.com/41-hilarious-science-fair-experiments/ I wonder what the outcome of this one was..

See y'all tonight!!

Guys, seriously, this is really funny..check it out...

Omigod. That is awesome!

I didn't finish Microserfs and I have enjoyed his work in the past--is JPod better? I just wasn't engaged. Got about 3/4 through then I didn't care anymore.

The subject of this thread is a little misleading, since I never really had an old favourite rapper. Regardless, this is awesome. Wear headphones if you're at work (unless your employer and co-workers aren't offended by repeated use of the phrase mother-fucker). Seriously funny. I laughed almost as much as I did at the Sarah Silverman/Matt Damon video.

Man, I so wish I could make it down for Luther..

Congratulations!

Jay--I left the book with a guy who claimed to be your friend (and let me in for free as a result!)

Bump

I don't like football and despise the Superbowl, but happy Sunday is a good thing!

Ain't that the truth.

Have you ever hosed-off Basher with vinegar? Utterly useless.

Pouring a little vinegar down your sink clears up all kinds of gross odours.

Fun.

Yeah..the "true value of music" thing really pissed me off...fuckers...