Velvet Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 Grief counseller. Every day you go to where something horrible has happened and you try and get hysterically weeping people to go from unspeakably sad to just plain old sad."How was your day at work Honey?""Awesome!"Not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skelter Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 There may be some job satisfaction when you successfully help someone come to terms with their grief ... but yeah, they probably drink a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 Veterinarian. Not only will you outlive most, if not all, of your patients, you'll probably end up having to kill a lot of them yourself.Aloha,Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted November 16, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 Imagine showing up for work in a really pissy mood, traffic was bad, your dog shit in your shoes and some dude spills his coffee on your pants just as you are getting on the elevator. And he doesn't say a word, just looks at you and gives a little smirk as the elevator doors close. You meet your first client. Her math teacher has been eaten by a bear and you've been sent to counsel the grieving students. Now, you've been at this for years, you've seen it all - plane crashes, workplace shootings, crazed freak accidents that always seem to take the young and the newly wed. And this girl in front of you is bawling her eyes out and snotting and drooling and you can't even reach into your briefcase for the muffin you brought with you. And you're starving.Then she sneezes. All over you. There are Kleenex boxes everywhere (yes, you've been at this a while), and she sneezes right into your gawd-dam face. This puffy-eyed know-nothing shitheaded fifteen year old is probably just playing it up to get out of class and for a shot at being the crying three-second sound byte on tonight's news, and you just can't take it anymore."Jesus Christ you fucking moron!" you scream, jumping up like you've been doused in hot oil, "Shut up your lying fucking cryhole and get the fuck to class you trailer-trash bitch!"In the unsuing silence, only her wristwatch points out that time has not actually stopped, as the tick-tick-tick that had gone unnoticed before takes on a heavier significance. One thing is sure, you've stopped the girl from crying, though her "cryhole" as you so elegantly put it is anything but shut. Though she seems to completely forgotten about her math teacher.Not necessarily a job well done, but a job undeniably done nonetheless."How was your day at work Honey?"Boy, do you hate it when she asks you that sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 slow day at the office, velvet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 Charlie Brown's job had to be the worst one ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ollie Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bouche Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 It seems a little early to be into the booze doesn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms.Huxtable Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 Thank goodness for computers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bradm Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 How about being a nurse at an elementary school, and having to check kids for, you know, itchy infestations? That job would, literally, be lousy.Aloha,Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tungsten Gruvsten Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 How about being a nurse at a strip club, and having to check hoes for, you know, itchy infestations? That job would, literally, be lousy.Aloha,Brad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edger Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 Todd does a lot of grief counselling. It takes a special kind of person, and I would say it most definitely takes its toll. Although I don't think he has ever told anyone to shut their cryhole...yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGoodRev Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 (edited) Imagine showing up for work in a really pissy mood, traffic was bad, you dog shit in your shoes and some dude spills his coffee on your pants just as you are getting on the elevator. And he doesn't say a word, just looks at you and gives a little smirk as the elevator doors close. You meet your first client. Her math teacher has been eaten by a bear and you've been sent to counsel the grieving students. Now, you've been at this for years, you've seen it all - plane crashes, workplace shootings, crazed freak accidents that always seem to take the young and the newly wed. And this girl in front of you is bawling her eyes out and snotting and drooling and you can't even reach into your briefcase for the muffin you brought with you. And your starving.Then she sneezes. All over you. There are Kleenex boxes everywhere (yes, you've been at this a while), and she sneezes right into your gawd-dam face. This puffy-eyed know-nothing shitheaded fifteen year old is probably just playing it up to get out of class and maybe to be the crying three-second sound byte on tonight's news, and you just can't take it anymore."Jesus Christ you fucking moron!" you scream, jumping up like you've been doused in hot oil, "Shut up your lying fucking cryhole and get the fuck to class you trailer-trash bitch!"In the unsuing silence, only her wristwatch points out that time has not actually stopped, as the tick-tick-tick that had gone unnoticed before takes on a heavier significance. One thing is sure, you've stopped the girl from crying, though her "cryhole" as you so elegantly put it is anything but shut. Hell, she seems to completely forgotten about her math teacher.Not necessarily a job well done, but a job undeniably done nonetheless."How was your day at work Honey?"Boy, do you hate it when she asks you that sometimes.Always the most talented writer on this board. Well done sir.except p.s. "you're starving" Edited November 16, 2010 by Guest gramma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted November 16, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 Always the most talented writer on this board. Well done sir.except p.s. "you're starving"Fixed, thanks.And thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggo Posted November 16, 2010 Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 todd.. youze funny!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted November 16, 2010 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2010 I'm funny 'cuz I'm true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backbacon Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 Loving the new direction you've taken with your writing, Velvet! More crazy, less loggy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weirdness Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 Senior citizen gynecologist... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StoneMtn Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 I knew a guy who worked behind the desk where you go to complain your luggage was lost by Air Canada. He once told me: "Unless you're just lost and I can direct you somewhere else, you're definitely in a pretty bad mood if you're coming to see me."He was a surprisingly upbeat guy, actually, although he did say he has the worst job ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 A Senior citizen gynecologist... ...walks into a bar.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 ....and says "smells like chicken"...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PassedOutGuy Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 Thank goodness for computers.bazinga. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davey Boy 2.0 Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 ...the bartender looks him up and down and thinks, "There's something fishy about this guy" :chug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Schwa. Posted November 17, 2010 Report Share Posted November 17, 2010 HA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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