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"2 Cow" Economic Model


Schwa.

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Maxwebsterism:

You have two cows.

Canichiwa bean!

Meggoism:

You have two cows.

You wish they were dogs.

Snellyism:

You have two cows.

You labourously reverse engineer them until you are satisfied that you can tweak them to produce wine. It doesn't taste very good, but it gets the village drunk.

d_rawkism:

You have two cows.

You feel guilty about it. You write a long apologetic defending your possession of these cows and explaining how your values are not compromised by the same. No-one reads it. Months later, someone asks you how your two cows are doing. You have no idea what they are talking about.

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  • 3 weeks later...

bouchism:

You have two cows...

after months of unsuccessfully trying to legally change the name of the species to 'iCows' you finally get rid of the useless regular cows.

backbaconism:

You have two cows in your apt.

You make a twenty minute audio recording of them mooing but don't think there will be quite the interest in the recording as with the cricket recording so you destroy the recording and flick the cows out the back door.

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Yours Trulyism

You have two cows

It is a time to seriously move towards a deficit.

We're already in Debt and this anti-deficit crap is getting nothing done.

We need a serious overhaul. It costs money to do that.

Nobody's going to come and collect frum us when we have so much oil, water and cows.

That's Yours Truly-ism?

I thought it would be more like:

I have 2 cows

Instead of making the most of the milk I'd get from them, I'd complain about how it has to be pasteurized for sale in Canada, and in talking about it on the internet, get caught giving my over-quota volumes to my friends to make raw yogurt with.

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  • 5 months later...

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