Heady Epic Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 Hey yo, met some kids from Ottawank, and they told me to come on over and visit. I groundscored this laptop during Summer tour, so I can stay in touch and let you guys know where Heady Epic is at. This is what I thought of Albany.Yeah, I took so much molly, that I almost ate my tongue. That was sweet. We had pretty good seats, on Paigee's side, about 5 rows back. We werent supposed to be there, but I jumped the barrier, and my idiot friends that gave me the ticket followed. Actually, I was trying to get away from them, because they were all "Dude, we need money for the hotel." "Dude, can you pay part of this food bill" "Dude, that schwill aint free, you know?" "Dude, do you have any moo-la" Fuck those guys, I was getting stoned and toked! ITS PHISH FOR FUCK'S SAKE! And, it was, with a Chalkdust that made me almost hurl my pot cookies. It was that wickedly good. I was screaming the whole "Can I live while I'm young" cause people be always getting down on me. Suddenly, I looked at the Jedi as he was screaming it, and I yelled at him "You custie old fucker, you aint young, dont sing that shit!" so I started clapping along to Stash, and Luke Skywalker looked at me and turned to the others onstage. They were all like "you know it, you red-headed fuck face" and they played it. Phish should pay me when I get that close and direct the entire show. Guyute is still an ugly pig that slops his own shit too much. I see that song every second show or something when I am on tour. When I see it in Boston, I am going to wack the first kid in front of me. I think they played Sparkle and then Thunderhead or something, but I was pissing on some dudes coat. Fuck, when you gotta go, are you going all the way to the bathroom and miss two songs? Anyways, when the narc smells like piss, thank me you dont get busted. I piss on all their coats. I dont know what it is about Wolfmans, but when that song is played like the bomb-diggity that it is, chicks wanna dyke out. All around me, lovely breasted beauties were rubbing their rosebuds in each others pelvic-thrusts, and you could hang your coat on any of their nipples. I pulled out my meatstick, and screamed "Shock my brain you awesome bitches!" Gordo took it over and went into the deep funk, and he knew that I knew that he knew that it was my magic hand on my stiff rod that did it. I put her into fourth gear and the band followed suite. I didnt take off all my clothes this time. The man always gets down on me, and I have to do some shit talking to get back in. The chicks brah, shit, they were following my golden beast up and down. Some dude was scabbin' on me, so I punched him in the head, and whiped my dirty nuts along his mouth when he was down. Dont dig on the Heady Epic dude. It'll be a GTBT sort of thing if ya aint careful. I put my lovepepperoni back in my shorts, and went looking for some action, cause the music was over. Then, I heard Tweezer as I was walking back in from outside. It was cold out, but the room was getting pretty hot, and the chicks were ready for some Heady Epic! Heck, Heady Epic was looking for some epic head, Tweezer was pumping, chicks were jumping, I was thumping, the master of the night CK5 was humpin us, the boys were dumping their shit on us, girls were rubbing down, things turned around, then, this clown was all in my face. He was like "dude, you cant come in here. Show me your ticket" I was like 'Dude, its Tweezer man!' I kicked him in the nuts, and got up on the first row. Gordo looked at me and whispered "Where the hell have you been? We were kinda lost up here" So I yelled out "Deodato Daddyoda" and they bust out the A to the S to the mother-fucking Z yo! Its 2001 and the Chicks were lovin me at this point, as I was letting them ooze into the Heady's head-space. I started thinking I may not find those idiots I came with, and I didnt know what hotel we were at, so I found me these two ladies that didnt have hair under their arms. They smelled my arse, and knew what I knew. We were going to nasty-spice it up later.And then, Phish warned us that they were about to cum with the 'naaaaaa, naaaaaaaa, naaaaaaaaaaaaaa, NAAA NAAAAAAAAAA' part! Sure enough, they came right in our faces with 'NA NA NA, NA NA NA, NA NA NAAAAAAA, NA NA NAAAAAAAA, NAAAAAAAAA, NAAAAAAAAA, NAAAAANAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! That fuckin Na's yo! It dont get better than that. Fishman looked down, saw me and my ladies, and winked at me. I knew he was going to try and get in here, that dirty daddy, but screw him. I like Claypool to share with. That fucker's got some dirty tricks up his sleave, and you learn from the pro's with the ho's. Fishman knew I was going to bust his ass, so they started playing You Enjoy Myself. I looked up at that fat little fucker, and gave him the look. He knew I wasnt going to enjoy him, and he wasnt going to enjoy me and my ladies. When the cowbell came out, it was his way of sayin' "Sorry brah" I didnt matter none, cause I was still groovin down. It was porno-funk all the way. I was about to check with the ladies if they wanted to make their dues with me, but that light-saber weilding mother-fucker and the mop got up on the tramps. The red-headed ONE almost missed his jump, and they were all screwed up after that. I should have left the show then, cause when that nasty spooge is left, ya gasted. I was crunked by this point, and they brought out some shitty washed-up born again christian insurance salesman/rhythm guitarist playing a song that he ripped off from Skynard's Swamp Music. All those people that got excited are inferior tools! Camel Walk was ok, but it just got worse until Antelope, which was ok again, and then that stupid Hendrix shit came out. How people go crazy about a black guy that cant play funk or blues, but sounds like some white guy jerking off always pisses me off. Black people dont dig on Hendrix, seeeeeee? I aint no sucka like all those in the house. Fishman got cheesed that I was going to get laid, Gordo saw me laughing at that skinny boner-head trying to jump on the tramp, Page never cares and only listens to what I tell the others and then does it anyways, so I should have left. They stopped listening to me after YEM cause they were pissed, so they got back at me with that other shit. I stole some other dudes coat, I smelled it first, and then I got out of there. Went to the lot, stole a burrito and some beers, and found some New Hampshire kids to play with. I think I slept in their room, until they caught me nailing their younger college sister in the bathroom...................................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heady Epic Posted December 4, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 Yo, how do I put up my picture like other people? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 Post of the year? Please, please, post your picture.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave-O Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 Best Review EVER! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooly Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 quote: I think they played Sparkle and then Thunderhead or something, but I was pissing on some dudes coat. Fuck, when you gotta go, are you going all the way to the bathroom and miss two songs? Anyways, when the narc smells like piss, thank me you dont get busted. I piss on all their coats. I dont know what it is about Wolfmans, but when that song is played like the bomb-diggity that it is, chicks wanna dyke out. All around me, lovely breasted beauties were rubbing their rosebuds in each others pelvic-thrusts, and you could hang your coat on any of their nipples . I pulled out my meatstick, and screamed "Shock my brain you awesome bitches!" i love heady mamas that love wolfmans as much as i do this review gets 5stars if we only had that ratings system workin again damnit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kung Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 I'm crunked and I just blew my shizzy load. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Low Roller Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 I honestly have no idea where to start with this one. Wicked review. Now about my coat..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shainhouse Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 I'm not posting a review anymore. I know when I'm beaten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 First Prize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jared Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 wow i'd hate to run into you on tour Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 Oh, I think we've all ran into him along the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vermontdave Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 I think that's Bradm, writing under one of them Sue-do-nims. The cadence gives it away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
la mantequilla del pollo Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 high-larious brah... keep 'em cummin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phishin4groove Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 Sweet!!! Them shits is killer (Booche here: Dude, that was tooooo long. You quoted the review. I had to get rid of it. Think of the 56k man! ) [ 12-03-2003, 10:42 PM: Message edited by: Booche ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Booche Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 Oh ma gah! That is ridiculous! Looks like phishin4groove has the Quote system down......... dude, I am probably going to edit that at some point. That is a loooooooooooong quote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave-O Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 Booche, do you think that's the schwilly frat boy we met? Wolfman's eh? On a related note, check out the review of my first show from Phish.net quote: Now to the sex filled second set. Yes, that's right SEX FILLED! Carini was slow and funky but it paled in comparison to the sick ass Wolfman's that would follow. During an amazing ambient/space jam, I realized that two girls near me spontaneously had started kissing and making out and even going so far as sucking on each others chests right there in the middle of this sick ass jam. They were going to town and so was the music...porno funk in full effect! I happened to be sitting next to the pair in question. Is there any doubt that I turned into a phan? hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pablo Sanchez Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 ahh the many faces of Kung.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 Just what I was thinking Pablo.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jon. Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 holy shit....that is totally priceless....that dude should be the official Sanctuary corespondant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fluffhead77 Posted December 4, 2003 Report Share Posted December 4, 2003 that's by far the funniest shit I've read in forever...quality review Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snarfmaster C Posted December 5, 2003 Report Share Posted December 5, 2003 quote: I groundscored this laptop during Summer tour, so I can stay in touch and let you guys know where Heady Epic is at....I jumped the barrier, and my idiot friends that gave me the ticket followed. Actually, I was trying to get away from them, because they were all "Dude, we need money for the hotel." "Dude, can you pay part of this food bill" "Dude, that schwill aint free, you know?" "Dude, do you have any moo-la" Fuck those guys, I was getting stoned and toked! ITS PHISH FOR FUCK'S SAKE! don't know either of 'em, but i thought heady epic was cheesehead at first Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pablo Sanchez Posted December 5, 2003 Report Share Posted December 5, 2003 cheesehead, ahess, heady epic.... they're all kung Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooly Posted December 5, 2003 Report Share Posted December 5, 2003 quote:I groundscored this laptop during Summer tour not bad,, but my buddy scored 3200USD$ and about a qp of boomers at IT monday morning hows that for a groundscore, i thought i was doing good at frontier town with about an eighth of headys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jared Posted December 5, 2003 Report Share Posted December 5, 2003 so thats where my nugs went tooly,, give em back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
c-towns Posted March 6, 2009 Report Share Posted March 6, 2009 top phish thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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