Jaimoe Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 (edited) All Canadians rejoice!!! The gist of today's Toronto Star article is that Canadian Tire has switched add agencies and will more than likely dump that fucking annoying Mr. Know-how-to-fix-everything actor dude Ted and his almost-as-annoying wife Gloria. Hey Ted, can that weed-eater get you a new job too? Edited October 14, 2005 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubberdinghy Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I noticed they were sort of fading them out...Maybe just for christmas..."You can give like santa, and save like scrooge." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tooly Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 i noticed the last few commercials for CT that ive seen had a new couple, younger, hipper, less grey-bearded. maybe theyre trying to switch the demographic, or maybe they got as pissed off with monsier greybeard as we all did Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcO Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 thank God - I hate Handy Dad.He's been driving Canadians crazy for too long, nobody seems to like him.I hope his penis falls off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freak By Night Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 A couple of years ago somebody posted that guy (Ted's) website on this board. I guess he'll be looking for work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secondtube Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 (edited) strange man you are MarcO....thats why i love ya! Edited October 14, 2005 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaggyBalls Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 i think it's a good idea to explain how the tools and gadgets work.i liked the commercials - they seem to be pretty average people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slippy Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 Hurray!!I was getting pretty tired of those two.I wonder if they actually bought all the crappy products they tried to sell us over the years how much it would all cost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdamH Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 I hate the two people but they do show what the tool does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gentlemonkey Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 IS NOTHING SACRED ?!?!?! ..... we were just getting to know the rest of their family.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SolarGarlic Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 Best news Ive read all week. Cheers to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dimafleck: the living legend. Posted October 14, 2005 Report Share Posted October 14, 2005 i've prank called Ted before actually.i hate that guy, but the commercials were effective.i'd love sucker punch ted while he was working on his boat at the cottage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SmoothedShredder Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 I like him... you're all just jelous he has such an efficent lifestyle and sense of accomplishment using such second rate products. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AD Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 .... and facial hair Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SevenSeasJim Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 Isn't it cool to bash anything Canadian Tire? Why is that?I've never had any problems with anything that i've ever purchased from them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paan Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 I've always had a thing for Gloria...yeah baby, let me show you what I can do with that reverse action, dual speed pivoting head.... ... unfortunately, since the 'incident', I have to stay at least 100 feet away from her... stupid stalking laws are way to strict if you ask me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freak By Night Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 With Ted gone, Ben Mulroney will now be the most annoying Canadian on television.(paraphrased from today's Globe & Mail). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peipunk Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 The best was when they were huddled in the car watching their mobile DVD player.....ON A FUCKING CAMPING TRIP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SevenSeasJim Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 Canadian Tire Couple In Divorce Shocker?I?M ENDING WITH YOU?Ted and Gloria Pneumatic, the ubiquitous couple featured in those Canadian Tire commercials on the TV every five goddamn minutes, have filed for divorce, thehammer.ca has learned.In an exclusive interview, Gloria admitted that she and her husband of 13 years have in fact been separated from one another for several months."We wanted to keep this secret because of the possibility of negative implications both for the company and for our careers as a husband-wife pitch duo, but I couldn't continue living a lie," said Gloria, who admitted that she wasn't happy in the relationship for a long time."Ted and I were all smiles and chuckles when we were extolling the virtues of the 50 dollar folding recliner or the cheap-ass DVD player for the car that breaks after the first speed bump, but when the cameras stopped rolling, we would just return to the loveless sham that was our marriage," she admitted in a phone interview. "We hadn't made love in our inflatable BYO Bed, complete with Memory Foam, in over a year. All he seemed to care about was his...stuff."Oh sure, I'd plaster on a smile and ooze with enthusiasm over the new Mastercraft Electronic Corkscrew, or whatever the hell it was we happened to be schlepping that particular day, but I began to ask myself...isn't there more to life than this?"I think it was the ad for the Motomaster Automatic Car Door Unlocker that broke the proverbial camel's back. That's when I realized that I didn't love this man anymore.Mike McChuckle, spokesperson for Canadian Tire and a direct descendant of Sandy McTire, had no knowledge of Ted and Gloria's marital difficulties."I mean, why can't you just unlock the goddamn door with your keys?"Our marriage got to the point where it was built on nothing more than the wanton consumption of crap," she continued. "Instead of devoting more time to the relationship, Ted thought all of our communication problems would go away if he just continued to buy more shit that would just wind up collecting dust in the closet. I mean, the Mastercraft Tap Turner? What was he thinking? Who needs all this shit?"Gloria admitted that it was she who initiated the divorce proceedings. "Ted's still a little shook up about the whole thing. He's tried to win me back with more...stuff, but he just doesn't get it. Sometimes, I'd just like to grab a Mastercraft XM-70 Megaphone and scream it out to him: 'You can't buy my love with all of this crap! I'm a human being with emotional needs!'"When reached for comment, Ted Pneumatic sniffled audibly before hanging up his Pulsar Belltone Cordless Phone, available for only $59.99 at your nearest Canadian Tire.Gloria said that the couple have agreed not to get "the lawyers" involved as of yet. "We're trying to keep things amicable for our son, but we haven't exactly determined who gets what," she indicated. She revealed that she has asked her husband for 1,200 Canadian Tire dollars per month in support, for herself and for little Bocihpus, the couple's child.Mike McChuckle, a spokesperson for Canadian Tire, said that the company had no knowledge of Ted and Gloria's marital difficulties, but he indicated that the venerable Canadian retailer has no plans of firing the couple. "We look forward to having Ted and Gloria continue to annoy the living shit out of Canadians from coast to coast. After all, it's just TV right? They can act...well, sort of..."Ted nearly breaks into tears and has to "take five" after doing an extended scene with his ex-wife for the Motomaster Eliminator 600A PowerBox, now only $149 at Canadian Tire.However, the revelation of the couple's split could have negative repercussions for the Crappy Tire brand, according to Nigel Berconso, marketing professor at the University College of Western Prince Edward Island."What does it say to Canadian consumers that this smarmy, eternally upbeat couple with the seemingly perfect life selling them the Motomaster 'Boat in a Suitcase' on the TV are in fact going through an acrimonious divorce? It seems rather hypocritical," said Dr. Berconso, who continues to be stupefied to this day that they give out doctorates for marketing."Not only that, but they refuse to say which side they voted for in the 1995 Quebec referendum on sovereignty. That might have something to do with the fact that they have never lived in Quebec, but still...it raises some red flags."And as for the couple's on-air future? Will they continue working together? Gloria says as far as she's concerned, yes."Hey, we're professionals...plus, the gig pays a lot better than dinner theatre in Niagara Falls. It's all about the Dead Prime Ministers, baby." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chewie Posted October 17, 2005 Report Share Posted October 17, 2005 the dude reminds me of my asshole ex boss...i want to post a pic of him...how come i can't post a pic anymore? and how come i can't see avatars anymore? probably something really stupid! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SmoothedShredder Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 I used to work at Canadian Tire... when I did shopping carts I used to take 1 hour breaks while I drank a litre of Chocolate Milk outside the Beckers... when I soon got promoted to 'Sesonal' Sales, I would make a fort out of Lawn Chair Cusions and hide in there for a while. I wasn't always a slacker (wether I am one now or not is irrelevant )... but I hated my boss so much that I felt he deserved it. He was such a little prick. I can't say I have very many good things to say about it... I worry about buying things there just cause the thought of standing for hours in a return line while they deliberately take there time to discourage this, in light of selling seriously disposable products (They DO have an electronics department... yikes) just brings me to fever. Yar, Crappy Tire is not very creative, but reveals a serious truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freak By Night Posted October 18, 2005 Report Share Posted October 18, 2005 Geez, since they announced the end of this ad campaign, I see Ted & Gloria commercials on TV more than ever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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