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Dear Work


mister slippery

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oh Dave...thank you!

I was told by my boss (the director/owner) of the private college I teach at, that the Welding Program may be shutting down due to the lack of enrollment the last couple months.

He suggested that I may want to look for another job.

I thought, that's cool he's being honest with me and giving me a heads up before I'm suddenly out of a job there.

Today, I am on the HRDC job bank and notice a posting for a full-time/permanent Welding Instructor at Stanford International College!

WTF!?!?

Aren't there laws about being dismissed from your job without justifiable reasons?

I have done nothing wrong, never missed a day or been late, do a ton of work on my own time that I am NEVER paid for and this is what I get in return!

Hey Stanford College...I WILL tell everyone and anyone who will listen NOT to go to your shitty f*cking school.

I WILL contact unemployment and let them know how you charge E.I. $300 dollars for text books and give my students a photocopied version. I WILL let them know you charge E.I. $85 dollars for my students welding helmet and make me order ones that cost $18.

I will NOT leave quietly without a fight.

I will NOT go out of my way to do anything for you personally EVER again.

FUCK YOU you fucking asswipe

thanks (for nothing)

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starhead - why don't you ask your boss about the posting and your job before you do all that stuff?

haha...well, that's definitely the plan!

In fact I have already sent him and the principal of the college an email asking about the posting and why i was told the program was shutting down if they are looking for another instructor.

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dear fuckface client i cannot stand,

interrupting our telephone conversation to suddenly ask me if i am a "peeler" and then tell me you bet i would be very good at it and you hear they make lots of money is not going to entice me to drop everything i am doing to complete the rush project you have just requested. it is just going to make me shove it to the bottom of the pile, while i go and tell the internet what a stupid pig you are.

oh, and by the way, i'd probably be more inclined to half-politely fake-laugh at your STUPID, COMPLETELY UNFUNNY lame-o attempts at jokes, if the only time you shut up wasn't just while you wait expectantly for the uproarious applause and laughter you feel your comedic gems SO deserve.

i bet you spend a lot of time talking to yourself in front of the mirror. i can't imagine you will ever find a human audience more captive. or that can stand you. at all.

i'm going out to get some fresh air now. and i'm going to walk really, really slowly on the way back in.

~PalacePrincess

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Dear work,

What is the point of having me sign a ten-page contract, when the final clause on the last page states that not only are all of the items you described in the previous 9.5 pages subject to change at any time, but also that I agree to abide by any and all changes that are made? Why not just have me sign a one-sentence contract that says that I am your slave and have to do whatever you tell me whenever you want it, regardless of any other considerations?

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Dear Work,

Thank you for helping to sustain thus far an unhealthy and ultimately unsustainable lifestyle. It has been my pleasure to cash your cheques month in and out. Please do not panic or make a fuss when you receive the most recent invoice - I assure you, you asked for it.

However, please stop IMing me constantly. I regret having made myself so available to you - I thought it would be for strictly professional communication. You either a) are a complete basket case, B) have no-one else in your life to talk to or c) just have too much on your plate right now. I can not help you with a or b, but I could help you with c if you would just leave me the fuck alone for a minute and let me get down to brass tacks. These constant inundations of nonsense benefit neither of us. I have issues that would stop your heart ... I am not qualified to provide you with emotional support. Trust me.

Perhaps I did not make it clear enough that the clock is ticking, and that these are billable hours. As your consultant, I'd advise paying me for something I'm good at - my job - instead of pissing it away on something I'm not at all good at: small talk.

Thank you, Work, for your understanding on this matter. I'm going to get the fuck back to what I ought to be doing now, if that is ok with you.

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Dear work,

Just when I started to become frustrated, bored and thought I might be happier elsewhere, you provided me with a new, exciting and creative position. I've been enjoying my work so much lately and appreciate the opportunity. Better work for more money makes me swell with the Christmas spirit and look forward to waking up in the morning!

Oh and thanks for paying my mortgage. ;)

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Dear Work,

Thanks for providing the shop space, tools, welding machines, oxy-acetelene torchs, drill presses, grinders and other materials to make all kinds of odd projects for my house and most importantly paying me to do it...

starhead, there's all kinds of young apprentice welders out here that need a good teacher.

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Dear work,

Just when I started to become frustrated, bored and thought I might be happier elsewhere, you provided me with a new, exciting and creative position. I've been enjoying my work so much lately and appreciate the opportunity. Better work for more money makes me swell with the Christmas spirit and look forward to waking up in the morning!

Oh and thanks for paying my mortgage. ;)

what she said. everything except for the christmas spirit bit.

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Dear Work,

Thank you for the great compensation package for wrongful dismissal...actually, you should thank me Work for not getting more from your sorry asses.

Sincerely,

Tricky

P.S

I hated you from the start Work, you annoyed the hell out of me so I found another Work to replace you...you'd be so jealous if you knew about us...

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Thank you work for the truck you give me and the gas card i so freely use to fill my other vehicles. Thanks for the awesome christmas party and for the xbox360 you let me win. You guys rock, except of course when you actually expect me to do my job, at that time i really dont like you so much.Keep the free shit coming and will promise to work atleast 35% of the time this new year.

Yours truly

employee 0583288

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