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Lindsay Lohan: Happy & Healthy


MarcO

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Omigod, that site is hysterical!

I've heard rumors that Mischa Barton is supposed to be attractive.

Clearly somebody has their facts mixed up because attractive people don't look like Beetlejuice. Or space aliens. Or whatever else looks the way Mischa Barton looks.

And what kind of expression is that? It's the face you make when somebody asks you what the square root of 12,526 is, shows you a picture of your mom having sex with the mailman, and then gives you a bag full of puppies and kittens.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to go my entire life without ever making that expression.

mischa-barton-ghost-04.jpg

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In much older societies it was considered attractive to be fat because it was a sign of being wealthy. Now being stick thin is considered attractive according to popular media. Is this because this is a sign that one can afford plastic surgery and a heroin habit?

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Me and TC think Lohan should go the Paris Hilton route. Don't try to really act anymore or get a bogus singing career going. Too much real work and responsibility.

Instead just become a socialite and party all aorund town, get embarassing nip slip, and ass out shots taken of you. Then cock hop from movie star, to billionaire to next dude and every once and a while smack up your car and release a sex tape.

That way no one will expect you to act like a real adult.

...Oh wait a second...that is what she's doing.

So she's right on track...all she needs to do now is stop acting and get to work on that sex tape.

I'd like to see Lindsay's Lo-hand on Magnum's ol' .45...if you get this P.I.'s drift.

Lindsay call me.....I'm in the book under the Robin Master's estate Honanlulu.

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  • 11 months later...

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